Perhaps, as the saying goes, you should never believe what you read in the papers. BMW's design chief Chris Bangle has had to withstand a huge amount of criticism in recent months from members of the press who feel that touching the new 7-Series would be a waste of a good bargepole. The 5-Series is less radical and has caused less venting of spleens as a result, but many of the unpopular styling cues are carried across, and the smaller car has not been untouched by journalistic disapproval.
In light of what you're about to read, it would be tempting for me to say that I never believed a word of this, and claim that I loved the new design philosophy right from the start. But no. I think the 7-Series looks ghastly, and I regret the fact that the 5-Series has lost much of the grace that it had in its previous incarnation.
Recent events, however, have begun to persuade me that I might just possibly be (whisper it) wrong about this. The first occurred when I was transporting two ladies to an orchestral concert. One of them was the wife of the conductor, who had phoned from the venue to ask if we could bring him some bottled water. We stopped at a petrol station where his wife attempted to make the necessary purchase.
It took some time, because nobody behind the counter was paying any attention to her. They all had their noses pressed to the window and were making cooing noises about the 530d SE in which I was patiently sitting. One of them, I'm told, even went so far as to utter the following remarkable sentence: "If you could drive one of those you'd die a happy man."
From this point on I started studying public reaction to the car more closely, and I noticed that if, for example, I happened to be sitting in a queue of traffic, the occupants of almost every vehicle around me would be gazing in wonder at the BMW. On the move through city streets, I realised that almost everyone I passed stopped what they were doing and stared longingly - sort of like the sonic boom effect, only slower and more moist.
You know, I never thought I'd say this, but Chris Bangle may have had a point after all.
There remains the question of how good the rest of the car is. In general, it's exceptionally impressive. It's very comfortable, with lots of room (more in the back than you would guess at first glance), and there are more than enough toys to keep you occupied. Foremost among these is the iDrive computer system, which - like the outer styling - is a toned-down version of what originally came to market in the 7-Series. In this application, iDrive is simple and intuitive to use, by which I really mean that I was able to work my way round it without reference to the instruction manual.
I also liked the Park Distance Control system which tells you when solid objects are too close to you, or you too close to them. The warnings come in both audio and visual form, sparked off by sensors at all four corners, and it all works very well, though it doesn't distinguish between a nearby wall when you're parking and a pedestrian walking close by when you're sitting waiting for someone to buy bottled water.
BMW has been trumpeting for decades about how wonderful its cars are to drive. The behind-the-wheel experience in the 530d is undoubtedly a memorable one, but I did feel that the test car seemed unsure of exactly what kind of machine it was supposed to be. The ride is a little too thumpy for a luxury cruiser, but the car doesn't carry its own weight with quite the grace you would expect of a sports saloon.
There may be a suspension issue here. The test car was fitted with a Sports pack, one of a great many optional extras which sent the basic price of £30,950 skyrocketing up to over £38,000. With this pack, ride height is lowered by 15mm (good) and the suspension is stiffer (less good), but there's more to it than that. An equally likely cause of the handling confusion is the low-profile tyres on the test car. No doubt about it, these contribute a lot to the visual effect, and I'm sure the marketing people were thrilled when they first saw them.
They also provide enormous amounts of grip. On the other hand, they do create an unfortunate compromise. I'm sure BMW's reaction would be to say that the car is in fact both a luxury cruiser and a sports saloon, but I reckon it's trying to be both and not completely succeeding in being either.
The confusion is increased - though in a very positive way - by the engine, which is brilliantly suited to either type of car. It's BMW's three-litre turbo diesel, now uprated to produce 218bhp, and if there is a finer unit under the bonnet of any mass-produced production vehicle, let me at it.
As usual with turbo diesels, the power figure gives no hint of the engine's full potential. The 530d will operate perfectly happily at 1000rpm or, if you prefer, thunder up to five times that speed with no hint of a performance dip anywhere in between. A huge sixth gear (nearly 40mph per 1000rpm) is carried with no fuss whatever, so you can let the profuse torque do all the work for you. Alternatively, you can work your way through the gears to squeeze the last drop out of the engine.
Two extra points here. First, although it's inevitably less refined than an equivalent petrol unit, the diesel sounds terrific. Second, it is quite astonishingly economical. The official combined figure is just under 41mpg, but if the trip computer wasn't playing me false I was able to beat that quite comfortably, even though I made use of the available performance whenever it seemed appropriate.
I zeroed the tripmeter when I picked up the car, and it was reading bang on 618 miles the first time I had to refuel, which is far in advance of anything I've ever managed before in a three-litre car.
To my surprise, this has turned out to be one of my favourite cars of the year. I'm still not convinced by the shape (even though almost everyone else seems to be), and I think I'd save money and go for the standard suspension and normal tyres in order to regain some of the lost ride comfort. Even in the form as tested here, though, the 530d is a remarkable piece of work. It's not a cheap car, but I would be tempted to think of the engine as being worth the asking price on its own, with everything else thrown in for free. It would be a good buy, at that.
Second opinion: I've come to realise that the way to appreciate the design of the 5-Series is to look at it bit by bit, and that there's one brilliant styling feature most owners will never actually notice. The car looks fine side-on, for example, if you keep your eyes away from the remarkably clumsy bootlid treatment. But if you want to get a handle on what makes Chris Bangle's work rather special, park the car at night with the dipped headlamps on, then walk round the front and see the "samurai" effect of the twin headlamps with the amber eyebrows of the indicators placed imperiously above them. Engine - magnificent. Fascia - how odd that Munich has lost ground here to Stuttgart. The iDrive - no, thanks. Ride quality - I'd have the standard suspension set-up, and skip the run-flat tyres. Ross Finlay.
